Massively Eaton

Smile on the faces of a rude donkey
Custom toys and cardboard stickers
You carved into the chopping board
We go up in the charts
If you count the deeper cuts

Look at you
Waiting in line when you could’ve gone online
But you don’t want to bother the mail humans 
With extra work 
Finding yourself In front of the Primark

Spent the money that you don’t have
An investment in children’s labour
You pull up your face mask a bit higher right over the eyes.

Not your problem, well it is
Do have a job, well it is
Own a 16 year old car, well it is
And somehow got married with a shit mortgage
Well it is

Keyesebab
I don’t want a Nobab
Can you go easy on the sambal
Keyesebab
With spicy spiders measuring sizes
and rusty toolkits
Don’t give em what he wants

Out there waiting to be massively eaten
Pick one, pick five pick six
For your team, great

Boiler shop
Hand in the tea kettle
Fuck that’s hot
Seats are sold 
How many did he pay that third party obese CEO?
Stuffed up and tied with their vulturous nuts to even bigger egos

Weather report
Weather report
Weather report

The bench in the park is missing covered up in powder
The moniker you miss clicked
Fake virus bullshit
Ain’t we all doing inside pocket Lingo 

No gold medal and a 400 in decent time
Your PostNL package can’t be delivered on time

Inconvenience with a flip side
Wicked
Can’t you just send it overnight with a pigeon?
Delivered like a hammer knock to the cranium
A moped sound boombox on the back of your electric bike

Keyesebab
I don’t want a Nobab
Can you go easy on the sambal
Keyesebab
With spicy spiders measuring sizes
and rusty toolkits
Don’t give em what he wants

Out there waiting to be massively eaten
Pick one, pick five pick six
For your team, great

Out there waiting to be massively eaten
Pick nine, pick ten pick twelve
For your team, pick me

Signed, bits going down a treat 
dabbles a lot
Signed, bits going down a treat 
dabbles a lot
Signed, bits going down a treat 
dabbles a lot


The New Public Shitters

The old town centers are dead
There are houses waiting
To be wrapped and packaged up 
in logo facades

Camera hamsters on duty 
We’re all so tired to strike a pose
Birthdays have never been so empty 
No one in here is getting what they ask

The new public shitters 
Get the lorrie out
Full marks for this

Some talk about what if
We don’t
Some talk about as if
We don’t
As if


Max & the Maximonsters

I want to bet on a horse
I want to bet on a horse
I want to bet on a horse
But not at the racing tracks
Lebara internet cafe that suits me well
Only 2,50, half hour, that’s all
To write a memoir that nobody asked for

Scribble notes, 8 mile, choke, in the back of the car with skittles
It’s summer again, awoke at 4.10
Packed and dark, cold, don’t forget your cushion, 
so you can sleep more in the car
Me mom said

Max and the Maximonsters
Where the wild things are
I scribble notes in the back of the car
Max and the Maximonsters
Where the wild things are
A forest grew in my own room

Back at it, south of France, 7 hours to go
No go back to bed with no eat, that’s it, bark bark
Take a cold shower and go back to the 
wrinkle wrinkles out with friction
Mad day at work
Betting-shops, grim council estates

Shit weather, nothing new
Up in here just some blokes with too much ego and self learned authority
No-frills art
Who cuts through all the over age X-Videos?
Bullshit, bull parts and the ongoing cul-de-crap 
I paint a still life with beer crates
It’s legit

Max and the Maximonsters
Where the wild things are
I scribble notes in the back of the car
Max and the Maximonsters
Where the wild things are
A forest grew in my own room

I think it’s right it’s on the telly
It’s legit, it’s legit

Explicit on the odds
Kit monsters, explorations
Dressed up in wolfskin pee-jays
Week in week out, favourite bedtime story tale
If it comes off
Think wrote for luck

Don't let me have a look outside my grubby window
I want to look outside and keep the dirty outside
Is a broader swipe
When it goes off a fight
Is a broader swipe
Aloof 

Max and the Maximonsters
Where the wild things are
I scribble notes in the back of your car
Max and the Maximonsters
Where the wild things are
A forest grew in my own room

I think it’s right it’s on the telly
It’s legit
it’s legit


Modern Chess Openings

The Russian guy explained to me about Magnus the great
A 2882 scoring rate
The same when me dad started talking about the Russians players and Bobby Fischer
The political side of the 64 black and white worlds
To me it sounded more as if Data went on in a slot-car match against R2D2
A Budweiser light year for breakfast
Drunken star trekkies
What did I know what he was talking about

1.e4
response
.c5
Sicilian 
Dangerous 
Struggle for both sides
Complex

Ooh, So you’ve seen the Queen’s Gambit on Netflix and now you’re an absolute expert in chess 
That’ll only last for 4 weeks
Check mate
Modern chess openings
I still can’t find me book

Now start chewing on that in the top room
Griffith, white, scientific study
768 pages, fucking hell
Try and fit that in your cargo pants
It don’t matter if your club or tournament 
Novice, intermediate 
The grandmaster is looking at you

1.e4
response
.c5
Sicilian 
Dangerous 
Struggle for both sides
Complex

I look, to the moon tonight, it looks so nice
Weak and piddly
The forecast changed on Brick Lane
Look at the moon tonight, it’s so suddenly
Weak and piddly

‘’The daily slog of working life forms a great deal of the essence of their style, yet this is hardly something they are keen to promote themselves’’

What?!
Promote yourself
I don’t want to
What’s your rank?
I never played any competition
It’s all in me head brain
Consent
No, why should I?
Consent, why should i?

1.e4
response
.c5
Sicilian 
Dangerous 
Struggle for both sides
Complex

1.e4
response
.c5
Sicilian 
Dangerous 
Struggle for both sides
Complex

If the horse can jump
Proper etiquette, fuck off

If the horse can jump
Proper etiquette, fuck off

‘’What’s this thing about they want to know your rating or rank, just get involved’’


McKroket

As we merrily skip through our houses and building markets
I'm not the one that created Daft Shit
I got a dog on a leash 
And an application informant that's does my income report
It’s not that bad for me
The rice is rising
Now add an extra error to that file
I’m not Johnny Rotten you know

tash tash tash
ga ga get me some mashed potatoes
get on with it
tash tash tash
ga ga get me some mashed potatoes
get on with it

Home bitter probs the piss smell of a bbq with sage leftovers from last night 
Going out is for the young and the popular kids
I just want to drink a beer or nine
You fuckin’ queen

It makes me sneeze
It’s that time of the year
It’s pulling out of the polling station
Portsmouth a trip to a Polish Hairdresser
On the corner
All you do is

tash tash tash
ga ga get me some mashed potatoes
get on with it

Maccy McDrive McKroket
Flashing lights and all that polish waiting in line 
Maccy McDrive McKroket
Flashing lights and all that polish waiting in line 

McKroket
McKroket
McKroket
McKroket

I’m gonna make a wee effort in selling it to ya for 1,95 with sprinkled nuts on top
Mr. no one’ bothered made a new account to get more likes, bots, what?
Teeth marks in a hockey puck, I create my own Stanley Cup
I got white socks and singing the bare necessities every morning then got caught by David Tennant with a big grin on my face
Outstanding Miller
The hamburger bun is twice the size of the burger in this country
Well well well

Maccy McDrive McKroket
Flashing lights and all that polish waiting in line 

McKroket
McKroket
McKroket
McKroket

I’m important cause I wrote my own review on 3for12
I’m important cause I bought myself in and bought a second hand 3fm award and sold with a profit on e-Bay
I’m important
I write shit lyrics, shit music, shit melodies over and over again reproducing all the shit that we all know and shove that down your throat
Even the cows look well impressed by the amount that we can all ruminate.
‘cause I’m important
I’m the artist here
Look at me, I’m all well trendy dressed as if it’s carnival everyday
Ooh how important I am.

Short tempered
Short tempered
Short tempered
Insular, negativity
And all that polish waiting in line

Maccy McDrive McKroket
Flashing lights and all that polish waiting in line 

McKroket
McKroket
McKroket
McKroket

ga ga get me some mashed potatoes
ga ga get me some mashed potatoes
ga ga get me some mashed potatoes
ga ga get me some mashed potatoes


Rip a Tenner out of him

They come out of the gate like greyhounds, blister
Who broke the window of that broker 
A punk day’s night? 
Tantalising taster
George is mounted properly in magnetic form to clamber atop off the front row, as he he won’t do
Will do this properly with the same amount of Sputnik, twice in the arm
It’s like raising your voice at an IndyCar race 
Sit down and shut up?

Rip a tenner out of it’s wallet and run
Rip a tenner out of him and run
Rip a tenner out of it’s wallet and run
Rip a tenner out of him and run
Broke at the stock market, keys 
Broke at the stock market, keys 
Rip a tenner out of it’s wallet and run
Rip a BitCoin out of him and run 

Different dropout and the deed at the joke shop
I raze the place to the ground
Showing up at your front door
Bang on the head
Another coffee cold latte foam around your mouth
And my other hand is ready for slapping

We have seemed to missed ya
Could you come outside
I got a heavy package 
2526 it’s for the neighbours
Number 13 
The same as you
And If it ain’t the cops? 
Who is it then?

Rip a tenner out of it’s wallet and run
Rip a tenner out of him and run
Rip a tenner out of it’s wallet and run
Rip a tenner out of him and run
Broke at the stock market, keys 
Broke at the stock market, keys 
Rip a tenner out of it’s wallet and run
Rip a BitCoin out of him and run 

a woof woof woof 

Got time Ed to call my dealer have 2 lines
Go to shop and smoke a single skinner
Fuck the water needs to be changed in the bong
At the same time Ed is shuffling into his slippers
Still 11 minutes before broadcast
It feels like I’m waiting on New Year’s Eve with 
a fuck all two week delay
What’s in the oven he shouts to the kitchen
No response
Illusion starts vague 
Where’s that geezer from the curry shop, he probably forgot it again.
The witch is not dead she’s been murky 

I learnt trumpet in the 80s and now I’m finally on Bandcamp with no followers 
Who cares
My armchair is dying 
Think I’m gunna throw it out there for the bulky waste
Shit the entree card is still in the Ford Fiesta which we sold pre-cov
The Bulky waste
Sausage roll and grin
Walt Disney, Want Drugs?
Walt Disney, Want Drugs? 
The cat ran out of ket

Rip a tenner out of it’s wallet and run
Rip a tenner out of him and run
Rip a tenner out of it’s wallet and run
Rip a tenner out of him and run
Broke at the stock market, keys 
Broke at the stock market, keys 
Rip a tenner out of it’s wallet and run
Rip a BitCoin out of him and run 

Could you come outside? I got a heavy package
Could you come outside? I got a heavy package
Could you come outside? 
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